Shelly "judo chop to the aorta" C.'s Profile

Don't waste your time!!

Reason?  Lame bouncers ruined the night.  So my little sister and her boyfriend stopped by here for a friends party and the ignorant, wannabe Vegas/Hollywood-bouncers (but can't because they look like my friends' corn/bunyun speckled foot on a bad day) wouldn't let them in.  

So this is how it went...
They asked for my sisters' BF's ID and studied it for a few minutes.  Because they didn't graduate from bouncer college, they studied it some more and even under the UV light (mind you, that's considered cheating at bouncer college!)  Anyway, because they (yes there were 2 of them) couldn't figure it out, they asked to see a credit card or something else to prove that it was him on the ID.  So my sisters' BF pulls out his credit card, library card, honorary underwater basketweaving fan club card (ok so that last one isn't true) but the bouncers just couldn't seem to figure it out.  YES idiots....the names match but they don't put pictures on a discover card or library card!!  So after some more time spent investigating the so-called fraudulent ID, they ask if that's my sister's BF on the ID.  My sister's BF OBVIOUSLY answered yes, but again, they continued to harass him about it.  They told him that it didn't really look like him in the photo so he politely reminded them that it was taken when he was 15 and he hasn't gone back to take another because he looks the same but his hair is a little different and the State laid off a bunch of employees so the lines are ridiculously long at the DMV and because he doesn't want to renew it at this time.  Then the bouncers took a clipboard and ask him to sign a sheet of paper like it's signed on his ID.  My sister's BF AGAIN politely reminded them that he hasn't renewed his license since he was 15 so his signature may be off.  The lame bouncers then asked him to sign and even asked if he wanted to look at the ID first.  My sisters' BF told them he didn't need to since it's HIS signature.  The bouncers then walked away and tried to quietly whispered to each other about how rude my sister's BF was when the whole time he didn't raise his voice, he smiled, joked with them, and didn't cause a scene!  The bouncers then walked back, handed the card back to my sisters' BF and  told him that everyone can go inside except him because he was being 'rude'.  

A little note to the managers/owners of this place....
Personally, I think viral marketing is one of the best marketing techniques and you did yourselves a great disservice by providing the customer service you did.  That being said...(whispering to all of my BFF's): "Hey guys/gals!  I've heard that Heat is synonymous with that other lame OC club Sutra....let's hit up a REAL club in LA instead."

What's with all the hype?!  

I came here because I was craving Lomo Saltado & this was the first place that popped up when I Yelp'd it.  I'm wishing that I had selected what was behind door 2.  The location was sketchy & I was regretting the fact that I had taken the bullet proof vest out of my trunk hours earlier.  Okay, so I may be exaggerating a little but seriously, the location wasn't too great.  

The food on the other hand?  Mediocre at best.  We were thrown off by the two options we were given on the menu: small or large.  The BF & I had assumed that we would be able to share the large portion because an earlier review stated that they were pretty large portions to share.  Let me tell you something, I receive bigger portions at Panda Express & those people are hella stingy with their portions!  Normally, everything tastes good when you're starving but honestly...I would've enjoyed my big toe better.

Normally I'd be ashamed to admit that I spent my Friday at a bowling alley but I think I've discovered a place that some may actually consider "cool".

This place is poppin for a soft opening. They don't officially open for another couple of weeks but I guess everyone got the memo that this was the place to be on a Friday night.

Anyway my friends & I only came here to try the food because it's a little pricey to actually bowl. I had the sliders & a trio of fries & although one of the mini burgers was a little charred, I still enjoyed my meal...especially the curry aioli sauce for the fries. YUM!! I also had a lychee lemonade, which is one of their specialty drinks & it was pretty damn good because I could hardly taste he alcohol which is a little dangerous for me...only because it increases the chances of me being carried out.

Big downside that night were all the little kids running around...did some parents confuse this place for Chuck E. Cheese?!! lol

I've discovered the best wine bar this side of socal!

I had a hard day at work today & my carpool buddy Ryan H. suggested we try out this new place near his house.  This place is amazing!!  For those that like the Twisted Vine in Fullerton...let me tell you...I found something better....something that will blow your mind (that's what she said).  

Anyway, this place is a little difficult to find because it's at a strip mall off Imperial & Yorba Linda Blvd (next to Fitness Pizza Grill).  It's a little small but I like it because it's a very intimate setting and it's easy to identify the staff for any questions you might have or if you're just looking for a water refill or your bill.  

Ok...now to the serious stuff...the food & wine.  First off...the food.  I had the Filet Poulet, Versai toast, & the Kobe beef ravioli.  OMFG....I've aways written about being in heaven but I've never really been there until now.  The food here is amazing!  The food is tapas style so you can share it with everyone of be selfish like me & hog it all to yourself.
What I really liked about the Kobe beef was the tenderness of the meat (that's what she said).  It was f*ckin' delicious!  The kobe beef melts in your mouth & makes you drool a little bit as you stare at the platter containing the rest of the ravioli.  Simply said, the food here is so amazing that I'm speechless & I just don't have the words to describe how delicious it is.  I'm seriously just sitting here thinking about going there tomorrow with my buddy Cicero D. tomorrow.  

They have decent prices for the wine flights so try everything...(I did) :)  I had the white, light, & fruity flight for $16.  It was well worth it because I had an awesome Riesling, Pinot Gris, Sauvignon Blanc, & this proprietary blend....that I later had a glass of by itself.  

Ok...to be perfectly honest...I have no idea how I was able to write this review because I'm freaking drunk as hell right now & I'm trying to sober up so I can drive myself home in a few minutes.  

I'll update my review with pics & exact details tomorrow at work=) LOL  stay tuned....

huki laka liki come on you wanna lay me....or rather... the chef behind the counter because the food is pretty tasty at this place.  

I came by here awhile ago (I don't know why I didn't leave a review then) but it was a pretty fun experience because one of my coworkers was friends with the owner & hooked us up with a bunch of non-Hawaiian food items like banana nut bread, tacos, etc.  LOL  Needless to say, my experience today was nothing like that because I came without the coworker in hand.  Damn.  Free food always tastes much better!

Anyway, today I had the beef bowl sukiyaki style.....uuhhhh suki suki now! I paid $6.95 for it (including tax) so I was pleased to see the big white bowl (not the porcelain one) heading in my direction.  I really liked the sauce that they stir fried with the beef.  The veggies could have sat on the fryer for a few more minutes but other than that I enjoyed my meal.  You also get a free bowl of soup with your meal, if you want.  I omitted that option because hot soup on a hot day don't really go hand in hand.  

The cashier was pretty entertaining in a strange sort of way.  I had a bandage on my arm because I had some blood drawn for my annual physical & my friend asked the cashier if they give a heroin addict discount.  The guy didn't laugh like I expected him to.  He just smiled & said "only if your bruise is bigger than mine" & he lifted up his sleeve to show me.  I was a little speechless but just laughed nervously so he doesn't kill me.  

Now who could honestly say that they've had an experience like mine there? =)

I switched my PCP to Dr. Losco because of the following story....

When my dad turned 50 he knew that his normal checkups had to include additional tests but when he mentioned that to his old doctor he just told my dad that they weren't necessary so my dad trusted this man & went about his way.  A few years & several checkups later, my dad went in for his annual checkup & told the doctor that he sometimes gets chest pains & has a shortness of breath when he walked a lot or climbed stairs.  His old doctor told him that it was just old age & it was nothing to be concerned about.  My dad asked that tests be performed 'just-in-case' because my dad wanted to make sure but his old doctor wouldn't sign off on it.  

After a few months, my dad talked to his doctor again & again his doctor refused to sign off on those routine tests.  My dad got pretty fed up & my mom had suggested that my dad switch his PCP to my mom's doctor, Dr. Losco, because my mom loved her & the care she got from her.  My dad decided to switch & a few weeks after his initial checkup, Dr. Losco scheduled my dad for some heart tests & that catheder thing.  They ended up finding out that my dad had 2 100% blockages & 1 80% blockage!!  Dr. Losco was surprised that they didn't test my dad to fix this because he a heart attack was inevitable at that time.  

My dad was scheduled for an open heart triple bypass surgery in less than a month!  During the surgery, they found out that there was another 100% blocked artery so they ended up doing a quadruple bypass open heart surgery!!  My dad recovered nicely but the cardiologist told him that it was good that they had caught it in time because the consequences would have been deadly.  We thanked Dr. Losco dearly for accepting my dad as a new patient since she wasn't accepting patients all the time.

So I had my first appointment for a check up with Dr. Losco & it went well.  I don't like to visit the doctor much because I've never particularly warmed up to a specific doctor & they make me feel really uneasy but Dr. Losco's office doesn't feel that way at all & the staff there is really friendly. I really like it here & I'm sure others will agree.

When the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie...that's amore!  

I don't think it's the best pizza I've ever had but it is better than some of the pizza chains out there.  I'm a tiny person so I could only handle a mini pizza w/ pepperoni.  It comes with 4 slices and it's a great lunch portion for most.  You can either get it as a combo meal w/ a drink and a salad or breadsticks, or by itself for $3.00!  Now that's a deal!

The pizza was pretty tasty and not very greasy, which I loved because I don't have to kill a bunch of trees trying to wipe it down with napkins.  They also serve it right out of the oven so it's hot and crispy all around.  I'm a cheap skate so I didn't get a drink or the combo but they do have water so just ask & they'll give it to you.  They also don't have a very big dining area but I came during lunch and it wasn't packed so this shouldn't be a problem.

arrrrrriba!  (I apologize for my lack of espanol)

This place has the best shrimp tacos!  I came by after an average work out session at 24hr fitness because my buddy Ryan H. has been dying to divulge the secret of the best shrimp tacos to another person and since I'm his only friend, I thought I'd take him up on that offer. (Just kidding buddy...don't hate me!)

Anyway, I only tried the shrimp tacos so don't ask me about anything else.  Oh wait...I take that back...I also had some Horchata but there was nothing fancy about it so I'll move on.

The shrimp tacos are about $2.19 each plus tax (Yes, I have an awesome memory)!  I know, I know a little steep for small little tacos but they pack the shrimp in there so if you're 4'11'' & 98lbs like me, then 1 taco will suffice.  The shrimp was breaded & fried & they were served in two mini corn tortillas with cabbage, cilantro, onions, & some special white sauce.   Be careful when you first bite into it because it's super hot & will likely scorch your tongue & Yelp would hate if people lost their taste buds!!

Anyway, give it a shot if you're in the area.  I think the other locations are scattered around the IE so hooray for at least one OC location:)

I was craving Milk+Honey after my brief encounter on Saturday afternoon but it was just too damn far to trek all the way down there during my lunch hour.  I had heard about this new location from one of my coworkers so I took a trip down to temporarily satisfy my need for some delectable desserts.

This location appears to have many more flavors than the Irvine and Fullerton ones, but then again, I could just be a bit delirious from the lack of tart yogurt.  Also, this place isn't as crazy as the Irvine & Fullerton ones so I was really happy to see that I wouldn't have to box out and elbow the little kids that were getting in my way and hogging the strawberry and plain tart machines.  

Before I filled my cup full, something shiny caught my eye.  A new sign behind the toppings counter read: Shaved Ice with yogurt.  The first thought that crossed my mind was "Oh hell ya...it's on like Donkey Kong!!"  I filled that sucker to my hearts content with everything I could remember in that M+H special: strawberry yogurt, tart yogurt, strawberries, mochi, red bean, and condensed milk (I obviously omitted the kiwis and bananas because I'm not too fond of that stuff).  Anyway, it tasted almost the same as M+H but it was even better because it was my very own concoction!!  

Thanks for making me a fan!

What a "butterface" this place was!  It looked damn good from the outside & inside BUT the food (I obviously replaced face w/ food because it doesn't work out the other way.)  

Anyway, aside from my lame analysis, I have to say that this place is probably just going to be a 1 time thing for me.

My friend wanted to eat here for her birthday so since it was my first time, I had to give it the benefit of the doubt.  I liked the ambiance but it was just a little too dark in there.  Who ever said that a single tealight was enough to light our table?  I could barely make out what was on the menu because we sat so close to the tealight that we kept blowing it out everytime someone would suggest something on the menu.  I did like the giant tree that stood in the middle of the room, but it was a little embarassing when I almost ran into it on the way to the restroom.  

The entire food menu consisted of only appetizers so make sure you eat before you get there because it'll cost you an arm & a leg to get full off that menu.  Each item was around $8-15 & the portions were pretty small so it's pretty difficult to share.  I had the mac & cheese w/ truffle, crab cakes, mini burgers, & calamari.  They all seemed to lack in both quantity & quality.  The mac & cheese was made of what looked like thick fettucini pasta instead of macaroni shells & it was a little tough in texture so it was hard to eat.  The crab cakes were decent but were a little too salty.  The calamari was tasty but there wasn't very many on the plate.  The mini burgers were probably the best (& by best I mean decent) but there were only 2 mini burgers.  

The drinks were pretty good but you have to order them at the bar to get them 1/2 off for happy hour.  I had a passionfruit cocktail drink that had to be the best part of this place.